I just want everyone to know: I am NOT a vegetarian, I am a librarian.

Here is my side of our (D, Smurf & BamaBeau) trip to the One World Café.

Saturday night BamaBeau, Smurf, and D and I were all hanging out, you know, talking and just enjoying each others company. We got on the subject of what we were going to do since we had it Monday off. BamaBeau came up with the idea of going to Salt Lake. We were all excited about the idea, and wondered what we wanted to do. BamaBeau then excitedly told us about this wonderful hippy-like restaurant that he loved and said we would all love it too. To be perfectly honest he was so excited and talking so fast I didn’t know what he was saying, but when I heard the words vegetarian and hippy. I was scared. That’s when I spoke up, I said, “wait, did you just say vegetarian?”

“Yes, doesn’t it sound wonderful, Wiggle?”

“No. I like meat”

“Oh, don’t worry they have chicken.”

With that being said, I thought as long as they had some sort of meat I will be fine. BamaBeau went on to describe this “wonderful” place, while deep inside I was worried.

Sunday came and went and before I knew it we were all packed in my car heading our way to Salt Lake City. BamaBeau told me to go ahead and park, and we could walk to rest of the way. So we were all walking, I was still nervous, but BamaBeau excitement had absorbed into me. Finally, I heard BamaBeau said earnestly “there it is!!” My heart sank. There we stood outside an old building that blended so well with the other buildings it didn’t even look like a restaurant; in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if used to a thrift store. A sloppy painted, old wooden sign was propped up on the sidewalk that said, “One World Café”. The windows had sweat on them. Right then I knew that what my friend had described was nothing I had imagined.

Really concerned about the sweaty windows we walked in and the smell was horrible. I got a sick feeling in my stomach, and knew that judging by the smell, look and feel of the place it was hazardous to my health. As I turned to BamaBeau to insist on going else where to eat, I caught the look in his eyes; he was like a little boy at Christmas time, eager to open all of his presents. I hadn’t the heart to tell him that it wasn’t Christmas, and none of those presents were for him. I decided to make the best of it, I will get lots of chicken and salad and it will be great.

Just so everyone who is reading this knows, I really, really did try as hard as I could to like it. My insides squirmed when the server ran out of salad, and he pull out a trash bag and slapped some more of it in to the serving bowl, I asked for some of that because I was afraid where the other stuff came from; and if I got sick I would know it was because that salad had been in a trash bag. I looked down ahead to see if there was chicken like BamaBeau promised, and noticing big sliver pot I just knew it was there, for me to devour (although, it probably had e-coli or something). I thought I would make an effort and eat something I didn’t know about, after all BamaBeau tried liked, it must be good, right? Having finally reached the silver pots at the end of the serving line I hungrily looked inside, and do you know what they didn’t have in them? Chicken! Sad and disappointed I settled with some questionable looking sausage sauce.

We ended up sitting in a secluded room on squatty chairs around a little table, which I kind of liked, but would have loved if it was cleaner. While we were eating the employees would keep coming in and going behind a current and changing. In one instant a women went to change and came out a man.

Admittedly, I have never known any real hippies, I don’t know much about vegan food, organic food or whatever the crap they were serving us. So if you are a vegan or hippy or a vegetarian please know I applaud you for having the stomach to eat this kind of food. I, however, am not use to it. Let me tell you my friends, the food had no salt or seasoning in it whatsoever, its texture was nauseating and I truly don’t think that was real sausage. With hope that the salad would suffice me until I go some real food inside me, I took a bit. That was a mistake. It wasn’t salad at all!! In fact all it contained was welted leafs with plain vinegar!! Puke! Bluah! So there I sat practically on the ground with a plate full of foul food while Smurf and BamaBeau tell me that the hippies don’t like others to waste food. All I wanted was some chicken. What a horrible place! I pointed out to BamaBeau that there was no chicken, he then said, “Well, the menu does change sometime.” It would have been nice to know to that, hello!

Thank goodness my roommate D was having the same feelings as I was. When we finally got out of the One World Café, D and I went to go get some real food.

That is my side of what went down in the One World Café. Am I glad I went to Salt Lake with my friends? Yes. Am I sad I went to the One World Café? You bettcha. Do I still consider BamaBeau a friend? Well… of course. Will I think twice before going to a place he thinks is “wonderful”? I’d be stupid not to.

To whom it may concern:

I'm going to California!!! Woohooo!!!!!!!! I just got all of my shifts covered!! I am going camping on the Beach! I have never done that. I will be going with my best friends and we are going to have the time of our life! You want to know why? Because we are SO cool!!!! Booya!!!! California here I come!!!

Here's to you Confessor

The other day I was reading the Confessor’s blog; and it got me thinking. I have something to confess. I bet you all are thinking, “Big deal, we all have something to confess”. But in my case it involves the Smurfs, Gravy, and The 100 hour board. Before I confess to this act I find it essential to give you a little bit of a background as to what events led to this covert scheme, that myself and two other accomplices have done.

It all started when Smurfs and Gravy were roommates. The two were so roguish that they did some crazy things to my roommates and me. Including: leaving a Taco Bell cup full of urine setting on the back of our toilet repeatedly, and breaking into our house one Sunday and taking our microwave, Christmas tree, TV, VCR, DVD player, and some food that was in the fridge. Now, I have to admit looking back I find those jokes to be quite funny. Man, they sure got us. Well, from our standpoint at the time, it was not funny, because it all happened one after another in a short amount of time. We were kind of annoyed but, went along with it until; Gravy planted a cup full of chocolate frosting and toilet paper on the back of the toilet. Yeah, I know it’s funny I thought it was great at the time and honestly, I laughed.

My roommate and I went to workout late one night and we got to talking, it wasn’t fair that the guys were having all this fun at our expense. We wanted to get them back, for everything they had done to us. We knew who we were dealing with. It had, to be one prank that would make up for all those things they did to us, it had to be covert, and the timing had to be just right. So for the next few weeks K, and I brained stormed. We had loads of ideas. We finally decided we wanted to do something with packing peanuts. After shopping around we decided the best way for us to get a large amount of peanuts would be to buy them from eBay. We had them mailed to one of our friends that didn’t live with us. So we kept planning and plotting. Smurf was always hanging out with H till late at night (at our apt.) so K, and I started going to workout at like 1 am and made sure that Smurf new it was normal for us to leave the house at that time. We learned Smurf’s work schedule, and Gravy’s schedule. Our prank was starting to get really complex and we needed another person, but whom could it be? It couldn’t be H, because Smurf was to close to her and would be able to tell if she was lying right away, and she would be the first person Smurf would accuse, so she had to be left out of our plans completely. We decided on letting D in on our scheme. But she had to be tested before we could fully trust her. K, and I came up with a juicy story, and I told it to D, and then K, tried to get it out of her. She passed. So then D started working out with us late at night. We even dropped by the Smurfs and Gravy’s house for a “visit” so we could scope out the scene. We finally had it all planed out. Now, we just had to wait for the perfect opportunity. Gravy was starting quite a stir with the board at that time. He did a prank to… I believe Latro's house and the board was upset, (and I believe they were threatening to get him back). That was our cue. We gathered all of our materials and loaded them up into K’s jeep, and told H and Smurfs that we were going to work out (we really did go workout just so we would have an alibi). After we were sure Smurf returned home and was sound asleep we parked our vehicle a block away set out on our attack. We carried the three large bags of packing peanuts, and a large cardboard we had prepared to put over the door. Duct taping the cardboard to the doorframe we began to fill the gap between to door and cardboard with packing peanuts all the way to the top. And once that was successfully done we went home. Knowing Gravy would be the first one out the door in the morning, he would open it and all the peanuts would fall into the house. Haha!

Both Smurf and Gravy thought that the board did it, and never questioned us about it. Until this very day they have no idea it was us. My favorite part about this prank is that it took a great deal of planning, and we never got caught. We have done a couple other pranks on them and they didn’t even suspect us. It felt good to get them back. And it was important for them not to know who did it because we knew they would fight back (the last thing we wanted to do was get into war with these pranksters). Now, I would like to just think of ourselves as even. Smurf, you shouldn't feel any need to get me back. Right?

Lesson to be learned: Never underestimate Wiggle.