The Night I Robbed the Bank

Hello, my friends. I call you my friends because I only share this story with people I trust. Listen carefully, because I am only going to tell this story once. If you ask me in person to relive this dreadful event, I will walk away and never return. For the tale I am about to share with you is true and I am ashamed to be such a huge part of this horrible incident that took place in my life. Brace your self.

This story goes back to the evening of June 15, 1992. I was ten, naive and innocent. Until I let temptations get the best of me.

My family was in charge of cleaning a bank for the week because the janitor, who was a long time friend of the families, went out of town. As a family we would clean this bank by dividing up the chores between us, I was in charge of emptying the trash cans and vacuuming the book keeping room. Little did I know that this simple task held the key to unleash the not so naive and innocent girl that existed inside of me.

It was a Friday night, and I was very proud of myself because I was getting to be quit fast with my cleaning. The faster I got done the more time I would have to explore this dark and mysterious bank. Within twenty minutes I had finish all of my cleaning. I started my way up the stairs to begin my adventure.

Now, that I look back, my ten year-old imagination, could have gotten the better of me, but I could have sworn that I saw a mysterious flickering light coming from the office just adjacent from the stairwell. My heart thumping loud, I very slowly crept up to the door and opened it. To my disappointment it was just a screen saver, someone had left their computer on. Staring at the screen saver with of a hamster on a running wheel, I was interpreted by the grumbling that my stomach was making. All that cleaning and exploring was making me hungry.

I was about to leave the office when something caught my eye. I turn my head and saw the most wonderful thing I have ever seen. And quite honestly who ever invented the "Honor Box" props to you. To those of you don't know what an honor box is, let me explain. Many business with offices use have them, it's a box with all sorts of snack food ranging from chips, to candy bars and from juice boxes to gum. You pick a snack, and drop $.75 in to the slot at the top of the box.

Anyway, amazed at how much good stuff there was to eat and my stomach growling even louder, I search me pockets for some change. It had to be exact because there was no way to get change back (it was a cardboard box). Finding only a dime, a nickel, and 3 pennies, I was saddened. That wasn't enough for what I craved most, a Snickers bar. I thought about asking my mom for some money, but knowing my mom she would probably tell me she didn't have any change or tell me I didn't need it before dinner.

Glancing at the clock, I knew mom and dad would be still cleaning for at least a 45 more minutes. I couldn't wait, I could feel my stomach starting to feast upon itself (oh, the pain), I was starting to feel light headed. I was forced to choose life or death. I loved my family and they would have been broken hearted if they found their oldest daughter starved to death in this little office (where she really had no business being in to begin with). I knew I could rejuvenate my energy with a delicious Snickers bar and my parents would be so happy that their daughter is healthy and well. Realizing that I had my family’s best interest at heart I grab the Snickers bar and dropped what little money I had. There I sat watching the hamster running on the wheel while I enjoyed my snickers bar.

As I sat there I could feel the energy rush back through my body. Realizing that I might not have chosen the best solution at that time, I would like to point out that I, Tawña, am still alive.

And that, my friends is the tale I have to tell about the night I robbed the bank.

It All "Depends"

I would like to share with the world my hatred for the word "depends". I hate that some idiot took a very common word, that everyone uses and perverted it by making it into an ADULT DIAPER!! I hate that! It makes me so angry! Yes, I understand why the idiot would think that was a clever idea, but now every time I hear the word I am forced to think of an old man standing in front of me in line (happy that he doesn't have to leave the line to go to the restroom) just doing his business! Sick! Barf!
It IS a very common word so I was forced to grow a tolerance for the word, but every once in a while my friends get a kick out of saying it loud enough so that I hear it above all the other words that surround it. Does this bother me? Yes. Do my friends care? No. In fact they think it is freakin' hilarious. And then one day they had the nerve to point out the word "Always". And that my friends, is a different story.

A Bump in the Road

It was a dark and scary night. I was alone in my house. Suddenly, the phone rang. Wondering if I should answer it or not, the phone rang again. Feeling rushed I answered it before another thought came to mind. "Hello?" I said, and there was a pause, and then a mysterious voice on the other end said "Wiggle?” Panic-stricken, I replied, "yes.", and then remembering my manners, I pretended I knew the person, and in a friendly voice I said, "How are you?" and the voice said, "Good. (Cough) What are you doing?” It was after the cough I realized that the voice on the other end wasn't so mysterious after all. It was just my friend Smurfs. Relieved and glad that it wasn't some stalker, I continued the conversation with him. Upon which we decided to go and rent a movie with a few friends. So, about 10, no, 15 of us crammed into my car, grateful that I was the driver and I didn't have to share my seat with anyone. We drove off to the Hollywood Video just down the street. We were on the road right beside the video store and we realized we didn't bring our I.D. to rent the all-time classic, “Rudy”. So, I thought quickly for a solution to our problem (it was a Saturday and someone might get to the movie before us) I told my friends, "hey, I know, I will slow down enough so that you can push Smurf out and Smurf, you go and get the movie and stand in line and we will go to my house and get my I.D.." Eagerly, Smurf said “Great idea Wiggle!". I then said "Alright, this is the slowest I am slowing down, Go Smurf!" As a group effort everyone in the back seat pushed him out of the car. As soon and he was out, I stepped on the gas, because, there was a car right behind me. Feeling a bump under my tires, I thought it was some sort of pothole or rock or stick, and didn't think anything of it. I WAS on a mission. I had to stay focused. Anyway, as quickly as I could I drove home and got my I.D. and rushed back to the video store. And when all of us climbed out of the car, and ran into the store and there was Smurf in the front of the line, holding the DVD of Rudy, with a limp, a black eye, and a missing tooth. Concerned and worried we ran to him and asked him what happened. Mad at who ever did this to my friend, I asked Smurf, "who did this to you? I am going to beat them up!" And in a very small, but sturdy voice, he said "you did Wiggle." Everyone was shocked and appalled, and in amazement, we said (in unison), "And you still got the movie?" With a grin on his face he nodded. We all praised him and gave him high fives, and pats on the back and told him how cool he was. Then we were interrupted by a shrewd and annoyed voice coming from behind the counter, "next!” It was our turn. So, we handed the movie to the sales clerk, and then she said, "That will be $3.45." And we turned to Smurf and said, "Do you still have the money we gave you?” He frantically checked his pockets and then in a guilty voice said, "I left it on the kitchen counter."

Wiggle

Hello everyone! I am Wiggle, actually my real name is Tawña. When I first met my friend Heather, asked how to pronounce and spell my name (one would think that I thought this to be quite annoying but after doing it so much through out my life I don't seem to mind so much). I explained to her than my name was pronounced TONYA and spelled T-A-W-N-A, with a tilde (~) over the N. She called this: ~, a wiggle and for a little while I was Tawña with a wiggle and then eventually shortened to Wiggle. I love my nickname and it seem to me that my dearest friends call me Wiggle the most. Oh, and for the record it's Wiggle NOT Wiggles. I am one person no more no less. Thank you for your time.