"...Smile that frown away"

"If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay, just quickly turn it upside down and smile that frown away."

So I am back, almost. After a few weeks of stress, and depression, I am starting to pull back up. I decided to stop concentrating on the fact that my sister is making some wrong decisions in her life; my mom, who has a blood disease, a bone rotting disease, chronic fatigue, and fibromyalgia; my imperfections; and the fact that my friends are all really super busy with school and boyfriends right now.

I’ve just come to realize (again in my life) that there is nothing I can do to stop all of these things from happening, nothing. These things are there whether I like it or not. And if these things are going to be there no matter what- I might as well be happy.

Monday morning was the turning point for me. I woke up crying from depression (I don’t do that. Ever.) As I was driving to school, I thought to myself, “Self, you can’t be sad in front of the children. You gotta buck up, for them.” With that I said a prayer and asked for these horrible feelings to go away. And I made a conscious effort to be happy. It was hard at first but as we picked the children up one by one, I hugged each of them and told them that I loved being their teacher, and that I thought they were really great. One child said that he wished he was my teacher. Through out the remainder of the day children would just randomly come and give me a hug and tell me that they loved me. My spirit was lifted. I am so grateful for my job and all the children in my life.

Work at the library wasn’t bad for me either, I was shelving books when a co-worker came up to me and greeted me cheerfully. She then expressed how happy she was, and how things were stressful for her but she was going to be happy no matter what. Wow, what a positive attitude. I use to have one of those. I am getting a feel for what it was like to be positive again. I am starting to feel a lot better. Then last night a group of my friends who I care for so much made time out of there busy schedules to hang out with me, it meant a lot to me. I always knew they cared for me, but I allowed myself to get so depressed for so long that I didn't see it. I can see it now though. I would just like to thank my friends, for the words of encouragement, and showing your love. There are no words to express my gratitude. I don’t know why the Lord blesses me with so much, I feel like I don’t deserve it. Anyway, I just want you to know that I am 95% back to my old happy self. There are some left over feelings I am trying to get rid of but by the end of the week I plan on being fully restored, until then, good morning, good afternoon, and good night. ;)